so i’m on a deadline and i gotta get thru all this shit i thought i was ahead of schedule, i am not LOL typical ADHD at it’s peak ~
SO
i have been mari-kondo-ing like a MANIAC and throwing away stuff and getting rid of stuff and selling stuff and i just need all this stuff outta here so that i can focus on taking care of myself and my dog and having a job and later when the time allows we can dig thru the shit that remains isn’t traumatic it’s just overwhelming but brokjen into itty itty small pieces it’s ok but i love being able to shut it away in my room like it’s Monica’s Closet.
But i also fear that we are outgrowing this place and that’s okay because we have to get so huge both in size and value so HERE WE COME WORLD
Anyway, i’m late – 2025 was the 9 year, which explains a lot and why i was able to leave etc etc, but then i was thinking that meant that 2026 would be a 10 year (wheel of fortune) BUT IT IS NOT it is a 1 year, WOW (the magician and new beginnings) (tarot/numerology)
so if we are the magicians of our own life and we get to decide to do literally whatever we want to do i think that we are going to move to somewhere bigger but not too terribly different, both for my sake and the dog. but if we are the magicians of our own life then we need to hurry up and start doing some magic that we actually life instead of wasting all our magic on assholes who don’t appreciate it and people who don’t see we’re special and just think we are like everyone else.
ANYWAY i thought that i was gonna be red-lining in a totally different way than the way i will apparently be red-lining. So I have been listening to the most painful (to my body) music that i can handle, reconditioning, writing, drawing, get it out get it out.
We have to get to the bottom of this before we can start working thru the shit i have FINALLY gotten thru my dumb dense head.
and this next bit is gonna get rough.
♪you gotta spend some time, love, you gotta spend some time with me,♪
♪and it’s hard to stay awake//when everyone you meet//they all seem to be asleep♪ (side note i always thought that this said when everyone you meet all seem to be a freak LOL
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