wooowwwww ok so had a gigantic ephiphany about DiD/All These Versions Of Me/raised by narcs/BPD etc:
since anything good i did was never because of me and everything bad that i did was always “my fault”
-which led to me completely splitting off into another person.
so now that i’ve finally gotten away and been able to do a lot of thinking and reflecting and Looking Back In Anger just like that little booklet that i got at the SCRAP told me to and also costar telling me that everyone who failed me isn’t my fault and so i have had to go way back thru a lot of garbage that i didn’t want to deal with but finally had to deal with and it turns out that i did do a lot of cool stuff but also hated my name and couldn’t be cool until i had my own name to make famous and i’ll always be a M***** but the world doesn’t know what that means right off the bat, but with K********* everyone who’s anyone knows what’s up.
So i’ve had to do a lot of tarot and listening to Qveen podcast and reading old writings (both mine and other people)&etc to get to this point of reintegration but omg it’s so hard so i think the best course of action is just to date my past self/my dog/me now and i think many good things will come of that, both for my brain and artistic endevours~
and i’m finally alone and can just go off the deep end and not ahve to worry about everyone thinking i’m carazy but also they might be right and would that be so bad? At least you’re being judged for what YOU’RE putting out there, instead of them just looking at your grey-man-suit and making their own (usually wrong) conclusions.
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